Louth is a pleasant quiet little town. And yes, that is a nice way of saying it’s as dull as a sermon, but really it’s nothing to hold against the place. You could even probably admire the way the local high street has held out against the chain store makeover, still has a local identity and still doesn’t have a McDonalds. Oh and it’s even quite pretty.
But Louth, has a dark heart. It is the centre a lurking and terrible evil. And no, I’m not talking about the insidious activities of the man local masons, or even the fact that Louth has long been the home of Roy Chubby Brown. I’m talking about something far worse. Louth is the headquarters of the British Sprout Growers Association; a body devoted to forcing children up and down the UK to eat a food that looks like mini green brains, tastes like an even worse kind of cabbage and makes you fart like a dying dog. And if that isn’t a reason to condemn it, I don’t know what is.