Huntingdon

Before it appeared on the front cover of Crap Towns II, the nation’s awareness of Huntingdon was entirely based on it being home to two of the greyest, most conservative leaders in British history: Oliver Cromwell, who famously outlawed Christmas, and John Major, a Prime Minister with all the charisma of a washing powder tablet.

With heroes like that, it’s no wonder that Huntingdon finds itself wrapped up in a blanket of tedium, shaking an angry fist at the winds of change. The town has been represented by a Conservative MP for over 80 unbroken years. Even in 2001, when Tory candidates elsewhere were losing to decorative fruit baskets and waxworks of the late Peter Cook, silly-named Jonathan Djanogly still bagged 50% of the vote. Whatever your personal politics may be, that sustained level of commitment to avoiding change belies a certain lack of imagination.

Huntingdon’s main shopping distraction is its incredible plethora of card shops, where locals can buy folded cardboard symbols to remind themselves that time is, despite all evidence to the contrary, passing.

Although the town boasts occasional high points – Britain’s largest meadow lies on it’s outskirts, for example – these only manage to briefly punctuate the monotony, like the commas in a passage of European fishing quota legislation.

Even the Huntingdon Life Sciences protesters got bored and left some years ago, presumably reasoning that releasing the animals from the lab into the town would in fact be less humane than keeping them caged.

Snotty

You can read more of Snotty’s delightful prose at : http://landofdopeandtories.wordpress.com/

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s