Take a look at a map of the UK. You see roughly in the middle of the south coast that there is an opening? Looks a bit like the country’s bumhole? That’ll be Southampton, the most depressing place I’ve ever visited, whose main claim to fame is that the Titanic sailed from there, killing hundreds of locals in the process.

But that was in the glory days. Now, it’s a culture-less abyss with amenities and nightlife that make Chelmsford look like New York.

Southampton: the only place in the UK I’ve ever seen someone get on a bus and nonchalantly spark up a crack pipe.



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6 Responses to Southampton

  1. dystopian says:

    Southampton is an absolute catastrophe of modern town planning – decrepit, ugly old docks, large retail parks and supermarkets built right in the city centre, soviet-style tower blocks and a plethora of abandoned shops. Somehow still a major cruise port, but I pity anyone who stops off here – the city has no tourist attractions to speak of (save for a piss-poor Titanic museum, and a towering pile of scrap metal), appalling nightlife (which is remarkable for a city with so many students), and is all round ugly and depressing. The locals still seem to think it is the 1970s, generally have IQs well below the national average and spend most of their time complaining about East European immigrants. For an image of 21st century Southampton, just imagine the most awful place you can think of. But as it was in the 1980s.

  2. god123 says:

    Bruv what you sayin?! u want me to teach you how to walk on a water?

  3. empty shell of a person says:

    Well worth a visit if you are not sure if you can go through with your suicide. If the ugly buildings don’t push you over the edge the locals will remind you why you don’t want to live on this earth anymore.

    • samjordison says:

      People really hate Southampton, don’t they?!

      • kingnotail says:

        But not without reason – the sheer extent of crapness that permeates every aspect of the city has to be experienced to be believed! Southampton is like a backwards time-portal into a Britain most people had thankfully long since forgotten about.

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